What a beautiful and salient response to this current crisis. As a white male raised by a single mother and two very progressive-minded older sisters in the 1960s, I grew up quite cognizant of the plight of women in our society.
At 66 years of age, it is no shock to me that our society has devolved while the antediluvian predatory European White Male syndrome that has dominated the world for thousands of years continues to proverbially enslave any human being that does not share their gender, race, or religious beliefs.
Rage is the appropriate response. No more sitting on the sidelines with all the hand-wringing and hopes that somehow things will change for the better. They haven't and never will until responses disquiet the world these powerful men and their minions occupy with an obscene impunity.
Mahatma Gandhi wrote the template for channeling that rage and bringing powerful white men to their knees by adopting the wisdom imparted by Henry David Thoreau in his iconic essay, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience. Gandhi's own observation regarding the struggle against oppression is instructive:
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always."
Lance, thank you so much for your eloquent post. The presence and support of male allies like you is more healing than you can ever know. I don't have to tell you that this is not a woman's issue, or ONE issue. As you say, the not even concealed goal is "to proverbially enslave any human being that does not share their gender, race, or religious beliefs." But the quotes of our greatest leaders do light the way forward. You've probably been following the European response too (good article here for those who want a quick read: https://www.politico.eu/article/europe-leaders-decry-us-restriction-abortion-rights-supreme-court/ ) but it's pretty clear that most of Europe has moved on from European White Male Syndrome, and is reeling in horror as the US falls straight back into the pit.
I have been working on a new novel that I’ve been stuck on (the writing part) but whose characters and story are in my conscious mind on a daily basis. It started occurring to me that maybe this would be best written in screenplay form, as a limited series, and I’ve just started writing a pilot episode and finding that it’s flowing pretty well. I haven’t written a series, though I have a detailed outline of one for another novel (actually a trilogy of novels) that I created with your writing book in my hands. I feel like that trilogy as an ongoing series has some potential, and I think this one might also be best on the screen vs novel. I’ve been doing a lot of writing of flash pieces, mostly creative nonfiction, and publishing them, and have a creative nonfiction chapbook out on submission at 4 presses right now. Have thought of signing on for one of your writing room workshops as I definitely find that having a structure and accountability to a class or group is super helpful. I was in an ongoing writing group that focused on flash and experimental forms from the first month of Covid until last month, and they’ve finally taken a hiatus, so I’m floating a bit and need to find something to dig in on, especially with all that is going on right now politically.
Good!! Trilogies, with the potential to continue the series, are still pretty much the most commercially viable and reader-attracting way to go. There are interesting new platforms for shorter fiction set in the same story universe, too. I'd love to have you brainstorming in the online group! So many people take my class without taking full advantage of the fact that I am ridiculously happy to talk story for hours on end... I know you wouldn't be shy about posting, which is good for everyone.
Marilyn, thank you. The last thing I wanted to do was try to force out words today. But the first thing I did was look to my eloquent, passionate, raging female friends. I knew posting wasn't optional. We need to speak each other's grief for each other now. And channel our collective rage. I'm glad you're here.
Thanks, Alex. I was actually thinking of you this weekend because I too am raging and I too am writing. I am remembering some of the old Murderati posts and wondering what everyone who wrote there is thinking/doing/writing now. Keep the faith.
I'm so glad to see you, Billie. I know you are. I thought of Murderati too, and tried not to think too much about the two Aunt Lydias there. I don't know if I could contain myself if I had to see or hear either one of them. Love to you and I'd love to hear what you're working on.
I used to be a one issue voter; if abortion wasn't supported, I refused to vote for them. However, I'm in my 6th decade now. This means that I was alive when abortion became legal.
I used to meet older women who told me that their marriages didn't last but their kids made up for it. Their faces lit up talking about children and grandchildren.
Now I meet (and know bc they are peers) lonely women without children but with abortions. They are far less content and happy than their predecessors. My peers used terminations bc they believed the rhetoric. Many believed, as I did, that we could have children later. Lies or mistakes? What were we told?
We need families in a healthy society. We shouldn't have sex without consequences. I don't see young women who are happier than I was. They are tense and angry. Life isn't set out as right or wrong any more. We've moved into a society where porn is available and prevalent. Where people sell photos of themselves naked in social media and where children are coerced into sex acts that we never knew about back then. Anal sex is expected??? Are you kidding me?! 3 somes??? Quasi genders and predators of both sexes lurking about with sympathy and evil intentions?
Guess what? Sex with a person who loves you is superior to 67 perverted sex acts or positions. And if they love you, abortions aren't the expected outcome of healthy bodies.
I was a wild child but by today's standards I was innocent. I was scarred enough by what little bit compared to today. I can't imagine the sadness, shame and general hideousness that young people feel today.
Are terminations necessary? Yes. Sometimes. But they are traumatic and painful physically and emotionally. It HURTS!!! It's noisy and painful. It's bloody and you don't recover within a few minutes. It's the end of a pregnancy. You have pregnancy symptoms like milk in your breasts and no baby to drink it. You have to deal with the termination of a pregnancy. It's a forced miscarriage.
The pendulum swung too far left. And I don't see that common sense is in this issue any more.
Nobody NOBODY should sell fetuses. Ever. That puts a very big dog in the fight. It makes me wonder if it's money or women they care about. Nobody should profit from a tragedy. Planned Parenthood needs to be disbanded. Terminations should be within gyn offices/hospitals. Where there's no pressure to terminate. PP makes money on terminations so I don't trust them. I know they are not caring about us if they are selling fetuses.
Finally. I think we need to stop pushing sexual hijinks. Stop. Have sex with the person you love. Set boundaries. I told my husband I wasn't going to have an abortion when we began dating. I said it's not an option. He was very careful about birth control. He respected me and my choice.
We absolutely need to have options but we need better boundaries. We need to take care of ourselves. Somebody needs to stop selling Sex in the City and start explaining that loving relationships are far superior to one night stands or friends with benefits. We don't need sex to live but we self respect to live and to raise our children and have a healthy society. Sex is something sacred. It's not a pastime like soccer or shopping.
The actual reason we have sex and the evolutionary reason it feels good is to procreate. Our bodies are functioning properly if we get pregnant. There's no such thing as "free love." There's love, sex and responsibility. Let's put the rage we feel into protecting those who need it; frightened mothers and perhaps fathers and babies who will likely turn into wonderful humans who love their moms.
Nobody should tell someone to not have an abortion but nobody should tell us that it's a great thing either. It isn't. It's against nature and our minds hurt from it as it well as our bodies
Hello Pepper. Thanks for taking time to respond from the heart. But NOBODY here said that abortion was easy or "a great thing" in itself. Nobody I know would say that. Abortion isn't anyone anyone WANTS, and the best way to immediately and drastically reduce it would be to ensure birth control is fully, universally available, for free - and to start comprehensive and committed prosecution of rape.
Since this country obviously isn't committed to anything of the kind, abortion is a vital option to terminate unwanted, forced, and dangerous pregnancies. To eliminate it is essentially forced breeding, inhumane and inhuman.
You've said a lot, but nothing about what you think men's consequences should be for their half of pregnancy - and for many men's ENTIRE responsibility for a pregnancy. In your lengthy list of sexual transgressions you didn't mention, for example, stealthing - the common practice of a man removing a condom during sex without telling his partner, to increase his own pleasure or to deliberately get her pregnant. Are you really unaware of that kind of coercive and irresponsible behavior from men?
And are you really saying that you're fine with women and girls taking all the responsibility for pregnancy, including the millions, of girls and women who are coerced or forced into sex? Because that's what the illegitimate majority of this rogue Supreme Court is doing.
By the way, I could go on a diatribe far longer than yours about what extreme porn is doing to the mental and sexual health of ALL genders, of all ages. If you want to have that conversation, I'm right there. But do you honestly believe that your personal sexual opinion (which you have described with a term from religion) should govern the choices other people make with our bodies and lives? I'm sure you've had a great life, but why should you think your way should be everyone's way?
You've said some other troubling things, too. Would you elaborate on your term "Quasi-genders" so I can address it properly?
And you seem educated enough to understand that abortion is far from being “against Nature.” Women's bodies have spontaneous abortions quite frequently, up to a rate of half or more of fertilized eggs, embryos and fetuses. Those fertilized eggs, embryos and fetuses are flushed down the toilet all the time (with no public outcry). So I'm perplexed by your horror at the idea that that kind of otherwise useless tissue could be and is being used medically for all kinds of lifesaving and life-enhancing procedures.
Alexandra -
What a beautiful and salient response to this current crisis. As a white male raised by a single mother and two very progressive-minded older sisters in the 1960s, I grew up quite cognizant of the plight of women in our society.
At 66 years of age, it is no shock to me that our society has devolved while the antediluvian predatory European White Male syndrome that has dominated the world for thousands of years continues to proverbially enslave any human being that does not share their gender, race, or religious beliefs.
Rage is the appropriate response. No more sitting on the sidelines with all the hand-wringing and hopes that somehow things will change for the better. They haven't and never will until responses disquiet the world these powerful men and their minions occupy with an obscene impunity.
Mahatma Gandhi wrote the template for channeling that rage and bringing powerful white men to their knees by adopting the wisdom imparted by Henry David Thoreau in his iconic essay, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience. Gandhi's own observation regarding the struggle against oppression is instructive:
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always."
Lance, thank you so much for your eloquent post. The presence and support of male allies like you is more healing than you can ever know. I don't have to tell you that this is not a woman's issue, or ONE issue. As you say, the not even concealed goal is "to proverbially enslave any human being that does not share their gender, race, or religious beliefs." But the quotes of our greatest leaders do light the way forward. You've probably been following the European response too (good article here for those who want a quick read: https://www.politico.eu/article/europe-leaders-decry-us-restriction-abortion-rights-supreme-court/ ) but it's pretty clear that most of Europe has moved on from European White Male Syndrome, and is reeling in horror as the US falls straight back into the pit.
I have been working on a new novel that I’ve been stuck on (the writing part) but whose characters and story are in my conscious mind on a daily basis. It started occurring to me that maybe this would be best written in screenplay form, as a limited series, and I’ve just started writing a pilot episode and finding that it’s flowing pretty well. I haven’t written a series, though I have a detailed outline of one for another novel (actually a trilogy of novels) that I created with your writing book in my hands. I feel like that trilogy as an ongoing series has some potential, and I think this one might also be best on the screen vs novel. I’ve been doing a lot of writing of flash pieces, mostly creative nonfiction, and publishing them, and have a creative nonfiction chapbook out on submission at 4 presses right now. Have thought of signing on for one of your writing room workshops as I definitely find that having a structure and accountability to a class or group is super helpful. I was in an ongoing writing group that focused on flash and experimental forms from the first month of Covid until last month, and they’ve finally taken a hiatus, so I’m floating a bit and need to find something to dig in on, especially with all that is going on right now politically.
Good!! Trilogies, with the potential to continue the series, are still pretty much the most commercially viable and reader-attracting way to go. There are interesting new platforms for shorter fiction set in the same story universe, too. I'd love to have you brainstorming in the online group! So many people take my class without taking full advantage of the fact that I am ridiculously happy to talk story for hours on end... I know you wouldn't be shy about posting, which is good for everyone.
Thank you for saying everything that is in my heart.
Marilyn, thank you. The last thing I wanted to do was try to force out words today. But the first thing I did was look to my eloquent, passionate, raging female friends. I knew posting wasn't optional. We need to speak each other's grief for each other now. And channel our collective rage. I'm glad you're here.
Thanks, Alex. I was actually thinking of you this weekend because I too am raging and I too am writing. I am remembering some of the old Murderati posts and wondering what everyone who wrote there is thinking/doing/writing now. Keep the faith.
I'm so glad to see you, Billie. I know you are. I thought of Murderati too, and tried not to think too much about the two Aunt Lydias there. I don't know if I could contain myself if I had to see or hear either one of them. Love to you and I'd love to hear what you're working on.
Please never stop being amazing. We need your voice.
Thanks, Michael. We all need to be helping each other be amazing, now more than ever.
I used to be a one issue voter; if abortion wasn't supported, I refused to vote for them. However, I'm in my 6th decade now. This means that I was alive when abortion became legal.
I used to meet older women who told me that their marriages didn't last but their kids made up for it. Their faces lit up talking about children and grandchildren.
Now I meet (and know bc they are peers) lonely women without children but with abortions. They are far less content and happy than their predecessors. My peers used terminations bc they believed the rhetoric. Many believed, as I did, that we could have children later. Lies or mistakes? What were we told?
We need families in a healthy society. We shouldn't have sex without consequences. I don't see young women who are happier than I was. They are tense and angry. Life isn't set out as right or wrong any more. We've moved into a society where porn is available and prevalent. Where people sell photos of themselves naked in social media and where children are coerced into sex acts that we never knew about back then. Anal sex is expected??? Are you kidding me?! 3 somes??? Quasi genders and predators of both sexes lurking about with sympathy and evil intentions?
Guess what? Sex with a person who loves you is superior to 67 perverted sex acts or positions. And if they love you, abortions aren't the expected outcome of healthy bodies.
I was a wild child but by today's standards I was innocent. I was scarred enough by what little bit compared to today. I can't imagine the sadness, shame and general hideousness that young people feel today.
Are terminations necessary? Yes. Sometimes. But they are traumatic and painful physically and emotionally. It HURTS!!! It's noisy and painful. It's bloody and you don't recover within a few minutes. It's the end of a pregnancy. You have pregnancy symptoms like milk in your breasts and no baby to drink it. You have to deal with the termination of a pregnancy. It's a forced miscarriage.
The pendulum swung too far left. And I don't see that common sense is in this issue any more.
Nobody NOBODY should sell fetuses. Ever. That puts a very big dog in the fight. It makes me wonder if it's money or women they care about. Nobody should profit from a tragedy. Planned Parenthood needs to be disbanded. Terminations should be within gyn offices/hospitals. Where there's no pressure to terminate. PP makes money on terminations so I don't trust them. I know they are not caring about us if they are selling fetuses.
Finally. I think we need to stop pushing sexual hijinks. Stop. Have sex with the person you love. Set boundaries. I told my husband I wasn't going to have an abortion when we began dating. I said it's not an option. He was very careful about birth control. He respected me and my choice.
We absolutely need to have options but we need better boundaries. We need to take care of ourselves. Somebody needs to stop selling Sex in the City and start explaining that loving relationships are far superior to one night stands or friends with benefits. We don't need sex to live but we self respect to live and to raise our children and have a healthy society. Sex is something sacred. It's not a pastime like soccer or shopping.
The actual reason we have sex and the evolutionary reason it feels good is to procreate. Our bodies are functioning properly if we get pregnant. There's no such thing as "free love." There's love, sex and responsibility. Let's put the rage we feel into protecting those who need it; frightened mothers and perhaps fathers and babies who will likely turn into wonderful humans who love their moms.
Nobody should tell someone to not have an abortion but nobody should tell us that it's a great thing either. It isn't. It's against nature and our minds hurt from it as it well as our bodies
Hello Pepper. Thanks for taking time to respond from the heart. But NOBODY here said that abortion was easy or "a great thing" in itself. Nobody I know would say that. Abortion isn't anyone anyone WANTS, and the best way to immediately and drastically reduce it would be to ensure birth control is fully, universally available, for free - and to start comprehensive and committed prosecution of rape.
Since this country obviously isn't committed to anything of the kind, abortion is a vital option to terminate unwanted, forced, and dangerous pregnancies. To eliminate it is essentially forced breeding, inhumane and inhuman.
You've said a lot, but nothing about what you think men's consequences should be for their half of pregnancy - and for many men's ENTIRE responsibility for a pregnancy. In your lengthy list of sexual transgressions you didn't mention, for example, stealthing - the common practice of a man removing a condom during sex without telling his partner, to increase his own pleasure or to deliberately get her pregnant. Are you really unaware of that kind of coercive and irresponsible behavior from men?
And are you really saying that you're fine with women and girls taking all the responsibility for pregnancy, including the millions, of girls and women who are coerced or forced into sex? Because that's what the illegitimate majority of this rogue Supreme Court is doing.
By the way, I could go on a diatribe far longer than yours about what extreme porn is doing to the mental and sexual health of ALL genders, of all ages. If you want to have that conversation, I'm right there. But do you honestly believe that your personal sexual opinion (which you have described with a term from religion) should govern the choices other people make with our bodies and lives? I'm sure you've had a great life, but why should you think your way should be everyone's way?
You've said some other troubling things, too. Would you elaborate on your term "Quasi-genders" so I can address it properly?
And you seem educated enough to understand that abortion is far from being “against Nature.” Women's bodies have spontaneous abortions quite frequently, up to a rate of half or more of fertilized eggs, embryos and fetuses. Those fertilized eggs, embryos and fetuses are flushed down the toilet all the time (with no public outcry). So I'm perplexed by your horror at the idea that that kind of otherwise useless tissue could be and is being used medically for all kinds of lifesaving and life-enhancing procedures.